When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
