Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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