so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
