a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
