the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
