the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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