why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize