It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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