i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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