The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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