hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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