i permit you to call me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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