Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
vagina is talking i cant
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
