She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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