Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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