Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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