I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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