Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize