he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
