i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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