I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize