In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
