Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
