i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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