i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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