So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
