So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
