I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
