I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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