But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
