i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
