that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
