WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they're like a gay fantastic four
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When are your genitals available?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
