this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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