I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
