Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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