I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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