Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
