we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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