just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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