You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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