This is not my ceiling
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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