Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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