glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My vagina is officially offended.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
