Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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