I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
