just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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