I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Acid is not a monday night drug
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
