dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
