She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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