My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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