I'm really into asian looking animals
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
