Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
