I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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