Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
