I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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