Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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