the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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