Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
