I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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