He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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