yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
